new life, just outside my window

Spring is definitely in the air.

We've had some lovely warm days, but now it's cold and rainy again today.

I had a lovely Easter weekend with my friends and family.

My friends are basically my family too. The girls I spent Good Friday and Saturday with have been my best friends since forever.

We were all homeschooled together, but now they've all moved on to highschool, ballet school in Toronto, college, and this coming year university.

It isn't often that we get time to be together, but this weekend we tried to make the most of it.

When I was younger I remember how excited I was when a family of robins made their nest right outside our dinning room window.

This year, after many years with out them, they are back!

 We watched them build their nest, gathering string and grass through the pouring rain, shaping their new home into a perfect nest.

And now, we can watch the parents flying from their nest, over to the bird feeder and back, always keeping an eye on their soon to be born babies.

The nest is a little to high to peak into, but with enough patience its possible to reach out the window and get a quick snap shot.

Aren't they glorious!

It's amazing how those perfect little eggs will soon become baby birdies.

We have a miracle happening right outside our window!

Effort

I play the flute.
I enjoy playing the flute, and I would like to think that I am also good at playing the flute.
The problem is, I don't always practice enough.

Some weeks I practice perhaps once... the night before my lesson(something that should never happen).
And others I will practice for several 45 minute chunks at various times through out the week.

The thing I find strangest is, that how well I play at my lesson may not seem to relate with the amount of practice I put in that week.
Sometimes, when I only practice the evening before(or morning of), I am able to breeze through all of my scales, my pieces seem well prepared, and everything goes smoothly.
But other weeks I'm not so lucky.
Sometimes, even when I practice more than once, I get stuck on every scale and arpeggio. My pieces fall apart, and my studies sound sight read.
It's a strange phenomenon that I can't seem to comprehend.

Sometimes this motivates me to want to practice more so I never have a problem at a lesson again. But other times it seems to do the opposite.
Instead of playing more, I play less, and then I end up having a great lesson the next week.

I don't know.
That's just something in my life that is a constant mind-boggler.
It's an unexplained mystery.

Growing Up

We all get old too fast.
But in the logic of a four-year-old that is just "what happens".
"God made it so we could grow up on our Birthdays, that's what he wants."

That may be true. But it all seems to go before we realize it's been here at all.

callback, or not

This weekend I received my first call back for a musical, ever.
I was so excited, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to do it.
But alas, the Stage Manger interceded.
She is also the Stage Manger for the other show I am in at the moment, and she made it very clear that I had rehearsal, and needed to be there instead of at call backs.

I was so mad. Actually I still am. Especially since there could have been away that both would have worked for me. If we had adjusted the schedule *slightly* I would have been able to do both.
The most frustrating thing was I was just sitting doing nothing for an hour of the time I could have been at call backs.
It was bad.
And I'm still mad. 

Gentle Reader, I Married Him

This evening I went on a bit of a mother-daughter date.
The new Jane Eyre is playing here for a limited time(only until Thursday!) and this was the last evening I was able to go. Every other evening I'm completely booked!

It was AMAZING! I loved it.
BBC never fails to deliver.
The acting was wonderful, the visuals stunning and the soundtrack was fabulous.

It was so satisfying to go see the movie after reading the 600+ paged book and know exactly what was going on, and exactly when they had left out or changed.

I also thrilled that my mom enjoyed it to. Going to the theatre, I didn't really know what to expect. I never know if my mom is going to be interesting in things the way I am.
I love mommy/daughter dates! I wish we had time to have them more often.

just relax

Yesterday I went to a homeschooling conference in my area. Really the only thing I learned from the whole day is that people are too uptight and should just take a deep breath and let their kids be kids.
Most of the women there feel like they need to have every single moment of "education" planned for their children.
No.
You don't have to PLAN anything. They best kind of learning happens organically and doesn't need to be planned at all.
Parents can't plan what their kids are going to be passionate about, or what their kids are going to hate.
Homeschooling is just as much about the parent learning as the child.
Parents have to learn to find creative ways to make things fun, but you can't plan fun.
You can have ideas, but a list and itinerary aren't going to make your child want to learn.
Learning is a natural thing. Kids need to be guided, sometimes lead and occasionally pushed, but for the most
of the time, they will lead YOU to what they want and need to know.
Every child needs to know how to read, but who can tell you exactly when that needs to happen? If you don't think your kid is up to par with their 'grade level', that's fine. If you are homeschooling, that can just happen when that happens.
There's nothing a child learns before grade 6 that they can't learn in grade 7 or 8.
Everyone wants their kid to be smart, capable, and bright, and they are and will be, if you let them.
You can insist that they learn how to do simple math and learn their alphabet and know how to read, but they shouldn't every say they 'hate it'.
Each kid is different, but contrary to popular belief, kids DO want to learn. They do need help to do that, but for the most part, they can learn on their own, as long as you are there to hold there hand and be there for along the way.

wings

"Intelligence with out ambition is a bird without wings."

-Salvador Dali

mayhem and more

March break wasn't very relaxing for me.
I was sick for most of it, and stressed about not having a laptop, or a computer that worked properly.
I tried using our old desktop... but it's way to slow and ancient to be of any use for anything other than e-mail, facebook and blogging. I really just need it for my on-line courses, and it wasn't co-operating in the least.
Today is the last of this state of confusion. Right now I'm writing on a temporary laptop that we finally got because they weren't getting around to working on my laptop. But that ends now.
Mom gets to go pick up my laptop this afternoon!

Then I'll be able to update my family blog with photos from this month.

It;s going to be so nice :)

no laptop

The power cord for my laptop died on Friday, and now I'm completely laptop-less.
We had to send the whole thing back to the manufacture, something about warranty that don't really understand.

It's actually been pretty okay so far. It'll give me more time to read an what not, especially during the time I would otherwise be mindlessly wandering through the wilderness of the inter web.


I don't mind not having it right now, what with it being March Break and all, but I do want it back by the time I have to start up with my on-line courses again on Monday.

Today didn't contain anything much of notable interest. I had music lessons, and they went fairly well. It was one of those weeks where I practiced a fair amount and felt pretty good with what I accomplished.


Daylight savings is still kind of tripping me out right now. It's really confusing to think about what time it would be in 'old time' right now... I have a hard time fully grasping the concept. I'll just accept what my clock tells me, and not question it too mush further.

procrastination

I'm supposed to be working on my English assignment right now, but I'm sick and tired of it.
I'm 'responding' to a short story I read. But to be perfectly honest, I didn't like the story to begin with, and I'm really not enjoying having to think so hard to come up with answers for the questions.
I kid falls in love with his friends sister, and then he goes to a market, and the market sucks.
The end.

There isn't much else to say. Except apparently there is because I still haven't finished answering all of the questions.
I didn't even get what the 'moral' or 'theme' was.

I like poetry much better... poems are shorter and more artistic. You can be more interpretive with them, and the questions don't take as long to answer.

Oh well.
This thing is due tomorrow... and I'm out all day, so I really should get back to work.
I might only have one question left to answer.
And then I have to proof read everything.

I just want to be finished and get on with my week of nothing-ness.

style

I'm not big on make-up, but I love clothes.

"Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street,
fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening."
- Coco Chanel

Mostly I love scavenging thrift-stores for that rare jewel that I know is hiding. It's like a treasure hunt every time.

I found this girl's fashion blog, and I absolutely love her style and her photo's.

Some times I wish I could be more adventurous with the things I wear. I don't like to buy things unless I know I'm going to wear a lot. But usually if I do end up buying something that's a little on the strange side, it's the thing I end up wearing the most.

Lonely

After a full weekend of fun and being with people non-stop, yesterday was quite lonely.

I had two fabulous sleepovers this past weekend!
Some times it feels like I go forever without just 'hanging out' with friends.
If there was one thing I wish I had more time for, it would be that.

Not only am I always exceedingly busy(not like it feels like that right now... but it will soon!), but so are my friends.
Getting together just seems to fall to the end of our priority lists.
It's hard, but that's just the way it is.
With my closest friends, we know that we don't need to see eachother to stay close and connected.
With some people it just doesn't matter how much time passes since you've seen them last, you can still be able to pick up right where you left off.

Today should change things.
Wednesday nights are one of my most social nights!
Choir is kind of my time to load up on my people time.
Although we should all be focusing and not talking, that doesn't always happen.
Usually I'm one of those people who trys to be the quiet one who does her best to do exactly what the directors want... choir is different.
It's such a casual environment, and I love everyone there too much to not talk to them!

a day full of everything

"Be the change you want to see in the world."
                                                  Mahatma Gandhi



Today this auditorium was packed with more than 6,000 kids from middle school up through high school, all there to learn more and support the Free The Children foundation.
I feel blessed to have been one of those kids today.

There were so many inspiring speakers and  moving stories.
My eyes were reopened to the horrors hiding just out side our doors, and the world around us.
Terrible things happen every day, and we hear so little about them.
There are so many stories never told, and lives never lived.
This was a great reminder that it is our job, as citizens of the world, to do our part, and help where we can.

I had to leave We Day a bit early. I was kind of disappointed about that, but in the end, it was worth it.
I went to sing and play a few pieces on the the flute at the health and wellness group at my Gramma's Church.
That went very well.
Old people are always so sweet and supportive. They're not afraid to give compliments.

There was one older gentleman who was very inspiring to me.
He used to be an operatic tenor, and now he's a quiet old man with a dry sense of humor and a smile that makes you want to smile back.
He's had a stroke, and he doesn't sing very often anymore.
During his quick interview, he charmed the room.
After the program, when everyone was mulling around sipping their tea, he was persuaded to give us a quick little performance.
You could tell that this please him more than he would say.

His voice was so sweet and clear, but still only a shadow of what it had been.
Listening to his brief performance brought tears to my eyes.

You work towards something you're whole life, but in the end, it's life that takes it away from you.
Inside that quite old man, the flirty young man who loved to give impromptu performances to unsuspecting ladies who spoke whatever language he knew an opera in, is still there.

It's so easy to forget that everyone was young once, and deep inside, they still are.
Life is so short, but from where I am now, it seems to stretch on forever.

"School"

This is the week when  my on-line courses start.
It's almost two whole weeks since all of my friends went back to school, and here I am, just starting back up.

On-line courses usually start out pretty rough.
Half of the kids have no idea what they're doing, and the other half don't seem to care enough to do it.
Definitely not a good combination if you're looking for smooth sailing.

My last course went well, I still haven't gotten my final mark yet, but I'm not too worried.
It was only grade 10 math, so it's not something that's going to make or break my future in any drastic way.


It's nice to have someone else telling you you are doing alright.
But it's kind of a pain to have to always have things percolating in the back of your mind.
I'm basically on my own when it comes to having to understand whats going on.
My mom can't really help me at this level, and the teachers can't really do much, since you have to type them your questions, and if they don't really understand the question, you don't end up with a very substantial answer.


This semester I'm taking Grade 11 University Prep English, and Grade 11 Functions.
I like English.
But I don't know if I'll be any good at giving the teacher what she asks for.
Oh well.
We'll just have to wait and see.

Market, Fries and Other Wonders of Saturdays

It feels so good to have Saturday just to relax.
I'm so used to having one or more rehearsals I have to rush off too, but this season is going to be different.

I like to be busy.
And I find when I have too much time on my hands my life just turns to mush and I don't get anything accomplished.
But to be perfectly honest, I think that's what Saturday is supposed to be all about.

This morning I got up, at some cereal, read some of Jane Eyre, and headed off to the market with my Daddy.
When we first got there we ordered some fries and tried to find someplace to sit(harder than you think, especially when you're contending with Chinese New Year festivities).

These fries that I speak of, are one of the more elusive things in my life right now.
I go to the market every Thursday to talk about books, and every week I have the same internal debate.
French fries, or no french fries.
This question never seems to get old for me.
Usually I can never resist, but on Thursdays, things just get a lot more complicated.
Either I just don't get them, or when I want to the people aren't there to serve me.

I guess since today wasn't a Thursday, everything was bound to go in my favour.
The fries we're well worth the wait!

We also bought a bunch of apples, since I've been craving market fresh apples for the longest time.
The grocery store variety just doesn't cut it.

Dad and I had a few more errands to run, and then back home it was.

The rest of the day has consisted of finding exciting new music to listen too, and reading Charlotte Bronte's, Jane Eyre.

I was supposed to go babysitting this evening, but I don't think that's going to happen.
The snow is coming down fast and furious.
So that is looking like a no go.

Oh well.
Staying at home eating granola bar rice crispy squares continuing my reading and music searching seems like a good option too.